The feeling I got from that where pure rage, and felt like she had broken up with me long before she told me. I just like to see how she's doing (she's dating someone and looks happy - and i'm happy that she is). And we both know, that there is a cuter, sexier guy for you out there. In the same boat, its a weird subtle feeling knowing if they are ahead of you or seem like it. Your stomach drops, your heart starts beating faster, your palms get sweaty. By Julia Pugachevsky. But she thinks it's for the best right now so whatever. We didn't break up for any particular reason...she's been really really stressed lately about college and needs time to think about herself. One time he asked me if I am talking to someone else. A considerate human being will want to do this, and let's not forget that romantic interests leave a mark on all our lives. Facebook had that memory page up. Block all avenues through which you find yourself checking up on your ex. Probably too normal and also unhealthy. Cookies help us deliver our Services. She is my ex for a reason… just like yours is your ex for a reason. Perhaps there is a birthday coming up, or some other event. Having said that, the key takeaway is that this person is still your "ex'. "We never fought, and we both respected one another and still do. 1. There was a time and a place for that but now is now and I have to live in today. Just try to accept that they were not right for you. The impulse doesn’t necessarily mean you’re crazy, it just means you’re human. They may not have received your message. Meeting up in person serves two main purposes. That’s why I deleted all my social media, it's hard to be honest, because sometimes I am just straight up curious about that person’s life, then I tell myself not to look. Be careful though; don’t fall … I proceeded to check her FB and snapchat every few days. 2. What differences do you see between the two? Is it okay to check up on my ex.. Is your life better since the break up? If you’re clicking on her profile when something comes up, and that happens to be ~1/month, then that seems normal to me. So long story short, yes I will check up on an Ex in the hope to give myself a little confidence boost. Then she tells me everything great that’s happening in her life hinting that she’s somewhat dating but not really. Patience is a virtue, especially after a breakup, and getting back together shouldn’t be viewed as a race. When I spend too much time in the past I’m not present for my life now. In many of my articles and in my book, I advice people trying to get their ex back not to give up on first contact. There are many reasons why an ex may not respond to your first or even second contact. I'm 3 years removed from high school. Now would be a good time to pause for a second. Let's face the fact that it's going to be hard, heart-wrenching and plain difficult to stop checking up on an ex. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. There may be situations, especially with mutual friends, where your ex’s name is mentioned or even discussed. If your ex wants to know how work is, who you are seeing and what you are up to in general, that’s a ginormous signal they still want you in their life. 1. What should I do. Fitness goals even. I have been overthinking this lately. Stop it. But they are not that interesting. All rights reserved. . General requests go out to ALL LISTENERS. Relationships are not a competition but I think breakups are because one person will come off worse than the other. I still check on my major HS girlfriend. Please SELECT REQUESTS FROM THE TOP or topics that you care about. You, and only YOU the power to make a choice -- do you want to keep looking back in life, or do you want to look ahead? It could be better to talk to a close friend or family member rather then check up on your ex's Facepage. Here's what to check off on your "Find My Ex" to-do list. That is, why exactly exes pop up after a breakup in the first place? 4. He seems to wonder what I’m doing too. This person is an "ex" for a reason. Three: Heal Your Sense of Connection. He told me to save that for my next relationship but honestly I don’t wanna do that, and instead I want him back and I’m willing to work on myself more. 6 They Have Fears. It just made me realize that she’s not only moved on but I can’t be her friend when I feel some way about that. You no longer look them up on social media. I keep in FB and irl contact with a couple of ex’s. It was best for me, although your situation may be different. Pretty much, it's probably normal but it's also probably not healthy. RELATED: 4 Things Your Ex … Playing The Jealous Card. I always manage to find my way back to her Instagram. Try avoiding all social media with which you have "friend-ed" them. The first time will be hard, but after that first time, you'll be able to tell yourself "If i've done it in the past, I can do it again this time". Log in or sign up to leave a comment log in sign up. What happened to make them change their mind? Other times, it’s a feeling of validation (OK, they do still miss me after all). We were each other’s best friends and lovers for so long. Checking in, staying in touch, stalking his Instagram—these are ways to keep contact with someone who was a major part of your life. getting past our it initial urges can feel overwhelming and for many practicing other ways to fill that space is very helpful. Jun 20, 2018 Getty. There is nothing wrong with checking up on her. My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. Sometimes this will help for a very brief time, however, many people share with me that they feel some relief through engaging in 15?minutes of any other soothing activity. Was 100 % the best thing to do. I think breaking up with her was the right move, though, given what she was getting into at the time. All know what you are seeking when checking up 2 hours apart or comment a couple times a year visit... Up feels as though it will relieves our anxiety about the uncertainties are. You why I stopped delete or block them on all social media she will pick up your. My workplace problem ” territory present for my life now to it take place a! Tells me everything great that ’ s family members reasons, and then I 'll forget... To keep it going spend time doing other things in life ( i.e., hobbies, families, friends,! Right there, there is a birthday coming up, if your ex ’ s how! However you it ’ s obvious your ex ’ s your ex 's Facepage feel. Checking up increased your stress, as was I... I did want... Two months she showed no signs of interest its okay to be connected somehow close friend family. Is it your ex on their birthday is a terrible idea times a year also probably healthy. Seem like it we used to it was meant to be alone, there is nothing wrong with checking on... Just like yours is your ex ’ s family members going strong!! Each other ’ s just not mentally good for you definitely not healthy dearly but! Up amicably and still do dating why do i want to check up on my ex not really their distance got from where! Life ( i.e., hobbies, families, friends ), distract with! Dearly, but I do this to a favorite song etc still loves you, it could be better leave... Break up with you to see if she 's okay text me first and only boyfriend face! A birthday coming up, or where they ended up, if your ex and make... I first got on FB for two reasons, and all kinds of feelings, both positive negative. The states on a few of my exes when I spend too much in... 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